What is it

Something is wrong, and I am trying to figure out what it is. I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep. I took some anti-anxiety medicine which is prescribed "as needed".

I have not been taking anti-anxiety meds at all for over a week now - except once or twice as I went to bed.

The third anniversary of Karen's death is this coming Sunday, that could be part of it.

This is the transition period of Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder, and my metabolism usually goes whacko at this time.

I have started to use the Alpha-Stim again, on a daily basis. My former psychiatrist said it was OK to use daily and as much as 3 hours a day. My medical doctor said there would be no issue using it as much as I want. The manufacturer recommends that once a maintenance level is reached, it should only be used 1 hour every 3 days.

So - I wil stop the Alpha Stim for the rest of this week, I'll take anti-anxiety med as I go to bed, and I'll wait a week and we'll see what happens.

I have been praying for help at work because I am doing something very difficult. I pray for this each morning/night, and several times during the day. I have recieved a lot of help. I have been specific in my prayers, asking for the ability to recognize patterns of different sorts within this data and to help me be mentally flexible, expecially in geometrical recognition, and help for my body to handle the strain, and my computer use will be accurate (no typos, mis-clicks).

I am continuing to contruct an Excel file template that I am going to use studying Sudoku puzzles. I got another really good idea about that last night.

I am really missing my kids today. I could really use a hug.