THis is funny

The following is a transcript of a training video from my company on how to use some very old software that I will be using during the strike.

We are going to learn how to access and use X
To go to X, use Y (chosen from menu START > PRGORAMS > Y )
Once Y is open (a scrolling list appears on the screen)
you can find the region you are going to use X in. (Mouse-Click on Z Missouri)
We are going to use Z Missouri because we will be researching missouri bills.

When Z starts, enter your ID, password and hit ENTER

This will bring you to the command screen (empty window with letters CMD in upper left corner). Now hit the HOME key (cursor appears after the letters CMD), the letter t, then function key 3, which we will call F3.

And you can see it moves the cursor down to the next line, and over 3 spaces, passed over where the area code is displayed/entered. The reason it does this is that most X billing telephone numbers in the same billing system all begin with the same area code.

Enter the rest of the telephone numbr. (when last digit is typed, cursor jumps to home position). then hit F3.

And you can see it takes me to the Billing Record. It shows me the name on the account, the address, the status of the account, the total amount due...

To view the last bill, hit F2.

To get more information on this bill, you can see at the bottom of the screen there are pages attributed to this bill. To see page 5 of this bill, hit HOME, type in pg5 then hit F4. To go back to the main screen of this account, hit F3.

By typing the word "date' on the command line (after hitting HOME key), then ENTER, and this will show you all the bills that can be viewed, sorted by date. If I want to view one of these bills, tab down to the one I want to see, type x next to it, and then hit F2.

Again, to return to the main screen, hit F3.

If you go to the command line and type "BAN" then ENTER, it shows me all the child accounts associated with this main account (a series of phone numbers is displayed on screen). Hit F3 to return to the main account.

To view the notes on this account, hit F7. If you would like to enter a note, tab down to the bottom of the screen to the type field. Overwrite the word "type" with "note", hit space, then enter whatever text you want in the note. Hit F7 to finish the note, and the screen is refreshed with all the notes, including this new note, shown in order of date of entry.

nit F3 to go back to the main accoount. You can see at the bottom of the screen that it shows the most recent note.

To go to another account, just overwrite the telephone number with a new telephone number, and hit F3.

To exit this system, choose menu FILE > EXIT (using the mouse and the menubar).
A dialog will appear asking you if you are sure you want to exit this system.
REply: YES - I REALLY WANT TO EXIT THIS SYSTEM - AAAAAAAAARGH!